How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
