Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
