I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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