Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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