girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
