no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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