If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
