It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
