I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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