Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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