Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
