I cockslap morals
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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