Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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