I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize