I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
