How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
