You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
