i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
