u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
