Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
