what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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