Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
