I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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