dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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