Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
