I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
