grandma shit on top of the toilet
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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