return my video game
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
