then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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