I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize