hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
