During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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