We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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