He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
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We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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