Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize