i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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