turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He did a backflip because drugs
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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