I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
