I am in a vortex of obligation.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
