ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
