Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dick very happy bro
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
