I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
