my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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