hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
is wine microwaveable?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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