My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
