just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
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I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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