would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
