i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
