umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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