Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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