Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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