fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
