Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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