The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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