1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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