I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
