names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
