no, he came in my armpit
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
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I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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