the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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