Don't make out with my wife yet
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
